10 Things to Teach Your Son About Style
One of the most rewarding things about parenthood is teaching your child something… that they actually listen enough to learn. When kids set off on their winding paths to adulthood, it goes without saying (even though we’re about to) that they’ll make a lot of mistakes, regardless of what you teach them. Don’t let one of those mistakes be their style.
If you were an awkward, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants boy (or girl) growing up, you probably know all too well what I mean. Did the “outfits” you chose (AKA just throwing on the nearest, clean-ish clothes) get ridicule or muffled laughs from your friends or crushes? No? Then they probably did it behind your back.
Kids amiright?
Don’t add fuel to the flames.
But for real, trending styles are always changing, so it can be annoying to keep up. Especially if you don’t even know (or really care) what it means to have “style” in the first place. This is obviously because you’re already dripping in stylish swag, right? Sure, sure, we know.
Don’t worry though, mismatched parent, we’ve got your back. And we won’t tell anyone either.
Here it is:
10 basic style tips youths don’t seem to know but always end up somehow awkwardly learning later in life…and sometimes not even then.
- Get pants. At least two pairs. Seriously, pick your rebellions.
- No holes. Or else you’ll have to suffer through literal tons of old people shamelessly asking your son if “those pants came that way” or (and) dutifully informing the room that “he’s missing part of his pants” each time he wears them.
Also, PS? It’s true. Those hilarious oldies with their tired jokes are totally right: you are missing part of your pants. And while that may have been cool back in the 80s (or never) at that one rock concert you’ll never forget, this “trend” has long since sailed, buddy.
- Also, get a belt. It’s for science! I mean, they literally help the saggy pant wearers of the world defy gravity. Which, leads me to my next point…
- Underwear is underwear. NOT outerwear. Pull up ya pants, son! It’s for the greater good. No, don’t argue with me.
If you or anyone else can see over one inch of your boxer-briefs, you’ve gone too far. We must request that you turn back.
Which tends to remind me of this other super important thing:
- Not all colors go together. In fact, few of them do.This is something you may have to take a special class for, it’s okay. Matching clothes properly is a delicate art with unique sets of evolving rules that don’t fit in with the rest of the world. And to whoever told you that brown and beige or brown and blue clothes don’t go together? STOP giving in to your fears, it can be done.
Also, please don’t wear a jean jacket with jean pants. Please just choose one or the other. We know, it technically matches, but there is a such a thing as too much, and this is that. Black on black clothes or jeans are really the only exception to wearing the same colors on both top and bottom articles. Dark gray can work too…. sometimes….at the gym.
Don’t ask me how I know that; it’s simple math.
Side note: if you choose to wear a top with design patterns, then the bottoms MUST be one, solid color, and vice versa. Don’t try and double up on patterns, I don’t care how “funky” they are;
especially…
- FLIPPN’ HORIZONTAL AND VERTICAL STRIPED PATTERNS. Yes, that was written in bold caps. That’s because I’m yelling. I’m urging you to say no…to drugs. But also, no… to flippn’ horizontal and vertical stripes in the same outfit. Just don’t do it.
Don’t even think about it.
Not even once. Not even for a little bit.
- Oh, and take off the hat every now and then. Give that scalp some sun and set those locks free. It may be tempting to throw on a cap or beanie (all the time) to quickly run out the door, but a well tousled hairdo will really get the people going.
- Use a lil’ product. That stuff isn’t strictly for the ladies. There are some really great hair styling products specialized for you and your boy’s noggins. Why don’t you give ‘em a noodle.
- WHAT ARE THOSE?! Dude. Look down. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s your son’s shoes. Is he really running around in either tennis shoes, crocks, or sandals?
Good. Those are appropriate shoes for kids to be running around in.
But also…you’ll really want to make sure he has some classier kicks that look dapper enough for when the grandparents are in town. We get it though; boys will be boys, after all, but they should learn how to be gents too.
Adding to that whole “dapper gent” look and the last of my insightful style tips:
- Get a flippn’ haircut! When hairstylists encourage a cut every 6 weeks it can seem pretty aggressive. Our inner skeptic always tends to shout out in defiance in this moment. Especially when involving our kiddos haircuts. Especially, especially, for our scruffy sons. I mean, they’ll probably just keep it matted with mud and other miscellaneous liquids anyway, right?
NO! You must show them the way.
It is your job to instill the wisdom and appeal of the wildly underestimated “clean” look. This will definitely pay off in your son’s (near) future world of jobs, relationships, and impressions. Start your kids off on that fresh and clean path early.
Inception them if you must.
Cool story bro. Now what?
Okay, we’ll get to the point: The Dapper Gents grooming lounge peeps want to help you get away from these common style faux pas. Don’t look now, but we specialize in men’s hairstyling, product, clothes, beard trimming and styling, accessories, shoes, and, well, style of course.
Yes, yes. We’re kind of a big deal.
But no, seriously. At least get your son a gift card to Dapper Gents and see what the horn tooting is all about. Or just be cool and stop by. We’ll help you set things straight in the style department.